Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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