She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
