That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
