He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
