i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
