I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize