i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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