i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
