So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
