oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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