He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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