You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
