MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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