I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
