I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
