Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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