white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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