Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
