Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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