I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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