When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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