don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
