Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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