So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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