i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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