But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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