yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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