whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
