respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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