Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize