Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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