i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
