Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
