but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
