May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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