who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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