so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
