You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
