he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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