cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
