Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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