i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
