yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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