Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
