But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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