Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
