ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
