Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
