ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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