how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
