i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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