My nipple is on Facebook.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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