You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
