The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
