...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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