Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
