I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
