Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
