Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
BRING THE BAGELS
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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