Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize