Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
