Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
