did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
